Welcome to week 16! This week my belly POPPED, baby brain is in full force and I've been sitting with a big shift in identity.
👶🏽 Baby Status: This week little babe is as big as an avocado (11-12cm). Bub is kicking up a storm getting more and more coordinated. The eyes are finally working, can perceive light and make small side-to-side movements, although the eyelids are still sealed.
🤰🏽 Mama's Status: Every single day this week I woke up and my belly was noticeably bigger. It grew so much my little nephew told me it looked like I was having twins! These next 3 weeks baby is undergoing a tremendous growth spurt and so is my uterus. A lot is changing. This week was the first week that surfing felt uncomfortable with the size my belly, the stretching of the pelvic ligaments, and OMG my boobs (taking a surfboard to the boobs is like being punched in the tits!). I also had to travel to Canberra to teach yoga this week and found little habits are changing. As an example, I used to really cut my time tight packing the morning of a trip and making flight check-in with only a few minutes to spare. Now more preparation and organisation means less stress for baby so I'm packing the night before and arriving early before flights. Oh and this week I've had baby brain so bad! Forgot where I parked my car at the shopping centre, left my keys at the post office, and left a vegan brownie on top of my car and drove off 🙄😂 Like wow.
Even with all the physical adjustments this week, the biggest shift would still be a mental one. I've been sitting a mixed bag this week - a sense of loss of identity and the guilt that comes with it. Without taking the time to process or work through the layers, it surfaced initially as inadequacy, FOMO, not being good enough, then turned into shame for being anything but happy at baby's arrival. It's taken a little while to source it out, but I came to the realisation that I'm breaking in this whole new identity of who I am. A lot has changed and this old version of myself - the wild, adventurous side of me, the one that travels the world teaching yoga, jumps out of air planes, dives with sharks etc. It's shifting. All of this was and is a big part of what makes me, me. So there's this sense of loss, of grasping, of letting go here. It got me thinking about how nothing in your life will ever come remotely close to such drastic and cataclysmic change as having a baby. Nothing else ever asks for so much growth, so much responsibility, so much sacrifice. Whether you're a mum or a dad, how could you not feel this? Surely I'm not the only one to move through this? Don't get me wrong - I’m so excited for this little bub and my heart is feeling so full. This baby is such a blessing and every day I wake up so happy for this new chapter, but amongst all the excitement and joy there's also been some grief here. I know that there are so many amazing things to come and that my life will be a million more times beautiful in a million more different ways. I just want to take the time here to process and release in a healthy way throughout this transition.
Diet and Cravings: Anything. I have so many different cravings and fantasies about food lately. It can jump from icecream to thai stir fry to chocolate brownie all in the space of 10 seconds. My skin has started to break out a little (you can see in the photos) so trying to reign these cravings in as best I can.
Pregnancy Exercises and Yoga: I worked out 3 times this week and practised yoga or surfed on the other days. My yoga practice looks nothing of what it did before. Even when I'm teaching yoga I'm rarely demo-ing because well, I can't.
Products I'm Loving: Frothing over my Mama Mio belly and boob cream. By far the best I've used yet! The smell is really yummy but not overpowering. I use this every morning and every night as my skin is getting quite dry and to help with stretch marks.
Self Care Ritual This Week: Meditation. Just taking 5-10 minutes in the morning to meditate is my time just for me. And meditating with the intention of it being something for myself too. Not just because it's good for the baby but because it's good for me. I'm finding that the deeper I can drop into self-care for myself, the more baby feels this love.
✌🏽 Thanks for taking the time to read and connect. I'm sharing my pregnancy journey online for friends, family and other mamas out there. If you have any questions, tips or anything you'd like to share, please comment below.
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